Can I really believe her sweet words?

Posted on May 27, 2013 by in Ask an Expert, Dating Advice

sweet words

Sweet words are popular and frequently-used between lovers. However, can those be trusted and when to? We will begin answering the questions with Liam’s story.

Question:

Hi Rebecca,

I have been writing to a lady during the past two months. She is one of the most beautiful women I have ever seen in my life, and things seem to be going well between us, but a part of me just can’t help thinking something is wrong. This is just too good to be true…Well, I am a 46 year old, divorced, average-looking guy. When I first contacted this lady, I never expected to receive such a passionate reply. She told me I was “very handsome” and how eager she was to start a relationship with me. I must admit that I was totally swept away. In the letters that followed, she kept saying very beautiful things to me. Though I want to believe it all, I am still a bit skeptical. So here I am asking for your advice. Can I really believe the sweet things she says?

Liam

Answer:

Hi Liam,

The early stages of a relationship are perhaps the most challenging. It is a time when true colors are often disguised by endless streams of compliments, kisses and butterflies. Much like a job interview, a new partner is more inclined to sweet talk, and say what needs to be said to keep them in the running. It may not always be a conscious behavior; both parties can be swept away by the thrill of the new. In fact, when used properly, sweet talk can add a romantic touch to the relationship and heat things up quickly.

Both men and women can be sweet talkers. A beautiful woman has the natural gift of sweet talk, and can easily mesmerize and hypnotize her man and have him hooked. On ChnLoveladies do tend to say a lot of sweet things to men in order to get their attention and keep them interested. When a ChnLove lady sweet talks you, she might actually mean what she says, or she might be telling a little white lie to appeal to your ego and make you happy. Of course, there is also the possibility that she is one of those dating scammers who sweet talks to cheat. So it is important to keep a clear head and to never lose sight of the facts in front of you.

At some point you need to take a step back from your need to find love and assess the situation. Positive feedback and reassurances are not hard to come by in those first few weeks. The sooner you start looking at what lies beneath the better. Start matching words to actions and look for inconsistencies. For example, she might tell you she loves you and wants to start a family with you, but she keeps avoiding the serious questions about meeting in person and marriage. These are the red flags you should pay attention to. Don’t believe that you are one in a million and that you really are “different.” See through this and find out where she is coming from to determine if you are able to join her on this journey.

At the end of the day, you are the only one who is responsible for the safety of your heart and your emotional well-being. Enjoy the trills and adventure that come with finding a potential new mate, but always keep your eye on the ball.

Best Regards,

Rebecca

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